


one big happy family

by Nana_hyuck27



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other, Poly 00 Line, and the funniest, basically nct being one big family, crackhead culture, the gayest people you will ever meet, wholesome content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:47:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21613267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nana_hyuck27/pseuds/Nana_hyuck27
Summary: on one faithful day mark lee decided to put all the nct members in a group chat...........absolute chaos
Relationships: ChenJi - Relationship, NoRenMin - Relationship, markhei - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 118





	1. let the chaos begin

**Author's Note:**

> whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> BIGgay-haechan  
> kindagay-jeno  
> arthoe-renjun  
> fuckurchickenstrips-jaemin  
> nohomo39-jisung  
> imricherthanu-chenle  
> fuckoff-winwin  
> bigboobs-johnny  
> smolbean-taeil  
> emonerd-yuta  
> stressedmom-taeyong  
> stressedmom2-doyoung  
> stressedmom3-kun  
> bigbitxh-lucas  
> gayerthanu-ten  
> sadstraight-jaehyun  
> smolgay-jungwoo  
> whitemanswhore-xiaojun  
> thatgermanbitch-yangyang  
> freshvacado-hendery

Whoreforwatermelon:OK WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY LAST PIECE OF WATERMELON

BIGgay:calm down Canada, its not a big deal

Whoreforwatermelon:IT WAS U I KNEW IT

BIGgay:ok how did you even know it was me

Whoreforwatermelon:well, was it?

BIGgay:fine u caught me it was me

Whoreforwatermelon:not cool man

Nohomo39:this was the dumest fight i've ever witnessed 

Kindagay:not as dumb as when they fought over who gets to sit next to Taeil at Christmas 

Nohomo39:u right

Arthoe:guys i was starting to draw a moon then i accidentally drew a fucking penis 

Imricherthanu:how do u accidentally draw a penis

BIGgay:u just do chenle

bigboobs:who the fuck thought it was a great idea to put all of us in a group chat

BIGgay:fucking thank mork lee

Stressedmom:HEY NO FUCKING SWEARING

BIGgay:sorry mom 

whoreforwatermelon:it was about damn time we all r in a group chat i was getting tired texting yall seperetly 

fuckoff:hi 

stressedmom:WINWIN

emonerd:WINNIE MY LOVE HELLO

smolbean;WINWIN LOVE U BRO

imricherthanu:HEY HYUNG

SMOLGAY:HI LOVE

BIGgay:wow why cant i get this much love when i speak

stressedmom2:cause we dont respod to children who r the spawn of satan

BIGgay:really feeling the love guys 

fuckoff:bye

fuckurchickenstrips:taeyong hyung we r out of food

streesedmom:what do u want me to do go to the store and cook for u guys cause u r all my children

fuckurchickenstrips:yes?

stressedmom:fine ill go doyoung come to keep me company 

stressedmom2:alright hyung 

BIGgay: well this was fun,i am sending a invitation to jeno,renjun, and jaemin to come cuddle in our room no pressure or anything but i am cold and lonely 

kindagay:ON OUR WAY

arthoe:COMING

fuckurchickenstrips:WAIT FOR ME

whoreforwatermelon:and on that note i am leaving 

It just gets worse from here on out.........


	2. big time rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> BIGgay-haechan  
> kindagay-jeno  
> arthoe-renjun  
> fuckurchickenstrips-jaemin  
> nohomo39-jisung  
> imricherthanu-chenle  
> fuckoff-winwin  
> bigboobs-johnny  
> smolbean-taeil  
> emonerd-yuta  
> stressedmom-taeyong  
> stressedmom2-doyoung  
> stressedmom3-kun  
> bigbitxh-lucas  
> gayerthanu-ten  
> sadstraight-jaehyun  
> smolgay-jungwoo  
> whitemanswhore-xiaojun  
> thatgermanbitch-yangyang  
> freshvacado-hendery

Bigboobs:LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND I SEE THAT 

Whoresforwatermelon: GIVE ME TIME U KNOW I'M GONNA BE THAT

BIGgay: DON'T BE SCARED C'MON PUT UR TRUST IN ME

Bigboobs: I knew i could trust u two

Stressedmom: CAN Y'ALL STOP BLASTING BIG TIME RUSH AT 2 AM 

Nohomo39: who's big time rush

Bigboobs: we got a lot to teach u son 

Arthoe: haechanie come to bed with us:(

Imricherthanu: ew

Emonerd: ew

BIGgay:COMING

Gayerthanu:thats what she said

BIGgay:shut up ten

Gayerthanu:shut up haechan

stressedmom2:yall r such children

stressedmom3:TEN COME BACK TO THE DORMS UR ROOMS A PIG STY CLEAN UP UR MESS

Nohomo39:ooooouuuuuu

Imricherthanu:ouuuuu hes in trouble

Gayerthanu:ur no fun

stresssedmom3: WHAT WAS THAT DEMON CHILD

Gayerthanu: jesus i'm coming alright bye guys

BIGgay: bye gay

Bigboobs: bye shorty

whoreforwatermelon: bye ten the number

Stressedmom2: ya'll better be getting some rest cause we have practice early tom

NOhomo39:for who?

Stressedmom2:127, you can sleep in baby

nohomo39: sweet i'm heading to bed then night

Stressedmom2: night 

stressedmom3: good night>3

stressedmom: night my baby

imricherthanu: imma hit the sac too night guys


	3. taeyong mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> BIGgay-haechan  
> kindagay-jeno  
> arthoe-renjun  
> fuckurchickenstrips-jaemin  
> nohomo39-jisung  
> imricherthanu-chenle  
> fuckoff-winwin  
> bigboobs-johnny  
> smolbean-taeil  
> emonerd-yuta  
> stressedmom-taeyong  
> stressedmom2-doyoung  
> stressedmom3-kun  
> bigbitxh-lucas  
> gayerthanu-ten  
> sadstraight-jaehyun  
> smolgay-jungwoo  
> whitemanswhore-xiaojun  
> thatgermanbitch-yangyang  
> freshvacado-hendery

Stressesmom: Someone said that i am basically yall's designated mom and i have never been so offended 

Imricherthanu: Taeyong hyung i need you to drive me to swim lessons 

Stressedmom: Sure sweetie, start going in the car ill be there in 5

Emonerd: See its stuff like this that we think u are our designated mom 

Stressedmom: i am not a mom, im just simply a better hyung then all of you

Bigboobs: Ouch 

Nohomo39: I'm hungry 

Arthoe: Sameeeee 

Stressedmom: There's left overs in the fridge from last night help yourself kids, Ill be off with chenle only call me if someones dying k oh and Taeils in charge 

Nohomo39: Ok mom

Fuckoff: Ok mom

BIGgay: Ok mom

Stressedmom: I AM NOT A MOM 

Smolbean: Delusion


	4. Grounded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Irene adopts Jisung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> BIGgay-haechan  
> kindagay-jeno  
> arthoe-renjun  
> fuckurchickenstrips-jaemin  
> nohomo39-jisung  
> imricherthanu-chenle  
> fuckoff-winwin  
> bigboobs-johnny  
> smolbean-taeil  
> emonerd-yuta  
> stressedmom-taeyong  
> stressedmom2-doyoung  
> stressedmom3-kun  
> bigbitxh-lucas  
> gayerthanu-ten  
> sadstraight-jaehyun  
> smolgay-jungwoo  
> whitemanswhore-xiaojun  
> thatgermanbitch-yangyang  
> freshvacado-hendery

Stressedmom: JISUNG PARK YOU ARE SO GROUNDED 

Arthoe: What did he do this time 

Stressedmom: HE MIXED THE SUGAR WITH SALT AGAIN 

Kindagay: ....

Stressedmom: MY COFFEE WAS VERY SALTY 

Nohomo39: YOU CANT GROUND ME I AM ALREADY AT RED VELVET'S DORM 

Stressedmom: YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT WHEN YOU COME HOME MISTER 

Emonerd: Mom strikes again 

Nohomo39: oh Irene just told me that she is going to adopt me and is going to the dorms with adoption papers as i text this

Bigboobs: Oof Taeyong is not going to like this 

Whoreforwatermelon: Why is Taeyong yelling at Irene something about adopting Jisung.....?

Arthoe: Read the lasts texts

Whoreforwatermelon: Ohhhhhhhh 

Nohomo39: They were very nice, made me hot chocolate, cuddled me, treated me like loyalty......

Stressedmom: I AM NOT GIVING YOU UP JISUNG 

Stressedmom: Even tho you make me very stressed, you are still MY child 

Nohomo39: Awwwwww love you too mom 

Streesedmom: phew she left, now jisung no tv for a week 

Nohomo39: fair enough


	5. vines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> BIGgay-haechan  
> kindagay-jeno  
> arthoe-renjun  
> fuckurchickenstrips-jaemin  
> nohomo39-jisung  
> imricherthanu-chenle  
> fuckoff-winwin  
> bigboobs-johnny  
> smolbean-taeil  
> emonerd-yuta  
> stressedmom-taeyong  
> stressedmom2-doyoung  
> stressedmom3-kun  
> bigbitxh-lucas  
> gayerthanu-ten  
> sadstraight-jaehyun  
> smolgay-jungwoo  
> whitemanswhore-xiaojun  
> thatgermanbitch-yangyang  
> freshvacado-hendery

Bigboobs: CHRIS IS THAT A WEED

Whoreforwatermelon: I'M CALLING THE POLICE

Whoreforwatermelon: Wow that brought me back i miss vine

Bigboobs: Bro sameee 

Smolbeam: guys whats a vine 

Bigboobs: .......

Whoreforwatermelon: ......

Nohomo39: does any one know where jaemin,renun, jeno and haechan are?

sadstraight: probably on a date 

Fuckyourchickenstrips: whats wrong sungie do you need us do we need to come home is chenle hurt are you hurt 

BIGgay: WE ARE TRYING TO HAVE A PEACEFUL DATE CAN Y'ALL STOP WORRYING ABOUT US 

Nohomo39: I'm fine jaemin hyung just wondering cause i came out of my room and y'all weren't there 

Whoreforwatermelon: And they were room mates 

Bigboobs: OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOM MATES 

Emonerd: hey thanks for checking in i am still a piece of garbage

Bigboobs: yuta i didn't know u know vines 

Emonerd: there is a lot u don't know about me 

Stressedmom: guys dinners ready sungie you can eat with us if you want

Nohomo39: i will be there in 5 

Stressedmom2: ok imma need cough mark cough johnny to stop saying vines while we are eating 

Bigboobs: NEVER


	6. memes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> BIGgay-haechan  
> kindagay-jeno  
> arthoe-renjun  
> fuckurchickenstrips-jaemin  
> nohomo39-jisung  
> imricherthanu-chenle  
> fuckoff-winwin  
> bigboobs-johnny  
> smolbean-taeil  
> emonerd-yuta  
> stressedmom-taeyong  
> stressedmom2-doyoung  
> stressedmom3-kun  
> bigbitxh-lucas  
> gayerthanu-ten  
> sadstraight-jaehyun  
> smolgay-jungwoo  
> whitemanswhore-xiaojun  
> thatgermanbitch-yangyang  
> freshvacado-hendery

Smolbean:/Sent a meme/

Bigboobs: Am i seeing things or did Taeil just sent a meme

BIGgay: That is the worst meme it's not even up to date

Arthoe: Guys calm down, Taeil just learned to turnn his phone on leave the old man alone

Smolbean: Mark how do I download a game

Emonerd: Lord help us 

Whoreforwatermelon: Go to the app store, search the game you want and download it

Smolbean: Thanks 

Nohomo39: I can't fucking believe Mark is teaching a person how to download a app

Sressedmom: Language 

Stressedmom2: Watch your fucking language 

Nohomo39: Geez I wonder where I get it from 

_Bigboobs changed name to Litdad_

Whoreforwatermelon: Pls John that's worse than big boobs

Litdad: I am just trying to fit in with the kids 

Imricherthanu:


	7. mark should not be allowed in the kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> BIGgay-haechan  
> kindagay-jeno  
> arthoe-renjun  
> fuckurchickenstrips-jaemin  
> nohomo39-jisung  
> imricherthanu-chenle  
> fuckoff-winwin  
> Litdad-johnny  
> smolbean-taeil  
> emonerd-yuta  
> stressedmom-taeyong  
> stressedmom2-doyoung  
> stressedmom3-kun  
> bigbitxh-lucas  
> gayerthanu-ten  
> sadstraight-jaehyun  
> smolgay-jungwoo  
> whitemanswhore-xiaojun  
> thatgermanbitch-yangyang  
> freshvacado-hendery

Stressedmom: I just walked in the door, why do i smell something burning 

Whoreforwatermelon: I can explain

Whoreforwatermelon: I wanted pancakes and i kinda sorta accidentally burnt one, well most of them 

Stressedmom: I thought i banned u from the kitchen 

Whoreforwatermelon: Yes i know but i was craving pancakes and kinda forgot i cant cook to save my life 

Arthoe: How does one not know how to make pancakes 

Litdad: Mark lee ladies and gents 

Stressedmom: Alright guess ill make pancakes for dinner 

Whoreforwatermelon: Thanks hyung ur the best!

Stressedmom: Anything for my children 

BIGgay: I guess now would be a good time to tell u hyung but me, junnie, jeno and nana are going out for our 2 month anniversary so we wont be eating with yall 

Stressedmom: I want u back no later than 11;30 sharp understood!

BIGgay: We cant make any promises


	8. a chaotic outing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> BIGgay-haechan  
> kindagay-jeno  
> arthoe-renjun  
> fuckurchickenstrips-jaemin  
> nohomo39-jisung  
> imricherthanu-chenle  
> fuckoff-winwin  
> Litdad-johnny  
> smolbean-taeil  
> emonerd-yuta  
> stressedmom-taeyong  
> stressedmom2-doyoung  
> stressedmom3-kun  
> bigbitxh-lucas  
> gayerthanu-ten  
> sadstraight-jaehyun  
> smolgay-jungwoo  
> whitemanswhore-xiaojun  
> thatgermanbitch-yangyang  
> freshvacado-hendery

stressedmom: Alright little shits i booked today off and guess where we are going 

Arthoe: art museum 

sadstraight: BEACH

Whoreforwatermelon: THE PARK 

Stressedmom: no no and no

Stressedmom: We are going to the pool!

Litdad: I just heard collective screaming from the dream dorm 

BIGgay: YAYYYY

Nohomo39: YESSSSSS 

Imricherthanu: WOOOP 

Emonerd: oh no this aint going to end well 

Stressedmom: Everyone be ready and in the cars in an hour 

Stressedmom: Oh and kun the wayv members are invited as well 

Stresssedmom3: Thanks hyung! Ill tell the others 

Stressedmom2: We haven't even left the house yet and i feel a head ache coming already 

Stressedmom3: The 00 line just came in the dorm to get yangyang i think i lost my hearing 

BIGgay: HYUNG WERE READY!!!!

Imricherthanu: POOL TIMEEEEEEE

Stressedmom: We got a long day ahead of us folks 

(needless to say not everything went according to plan)


	9. Not a single straight in this group

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> BIGgay-haechan  
> kindagay-jeno  
> arthoe-renjun  
> fuckurchickenstrips-jaemin  
> nohomo39-jisung  
> imricherthanu-chenle  
> fuckoff-winwin  
> Litdad-johnny  
> smolbean-taeil  
> emonerd-yuta  
> stressedmom-taeyong  
> stressedmom2-doyoung  
> stressedmom3-kun  
> bigbitxh-lucas  
> gayerthanu-ten  
> sadstraight-jaehyun  
> smolgay-jungwoo  
> whitemanswhore-xiaojun  
> thatgermanbitch-yangyang  
> freshvacado-hendery

Nohomo39: Ew i just saw renjun and jaemin make out in the hallway get a room losers

Gayerthanu: My god these bitches gay good for them 

Litdad: So are u ten 

Gayerthanu : Touche

Stressedmom: is there anyone even remotely straight in this group

Emonerd: I am 

Sadstraight: I just saw u stick ur tongue down winwins throat last week 

Emonerd: I said no homo after 

BIGgay: Imagine being str- st- i cant even say it 

Whoreforwatermelon: I think i am the straightest person in this group 

Fuckurchicken: so i didn't catch u sucking lucas's dick in the janitors closet after a concert 

Whoreforwatermelon: IT WAS ONE TIME

Stressedmom2: I think its safe to say no one is straight in this group 

Gayerthanu: Were all just a bunch of homos

bigbixch: no homo Mark but i would suck your dick again no homo tho 

Whorefrowatermelon: bro

Bigbixch: bro 

Stressedmom: I love my gay children


	10. the return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BIGgay-Donghyuck  
> Whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> Fuckurchickenstrips-Jaemin  
> Arthoe-Renjun  
> Imricherthanu_Chenle  
> Nohomo39-Jisung  
> Kindagay-Jeno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy they announced dream as a fixed unit AND there's a comeback! wow sm really loves to just give us information all at once lmao

Separate group chat with dreamies

_Imricherthanu added Whoreforwatemelon to the chat.........._

Arthoe: Alright who tf added mork to the chat

Imricherthanu: I thought it was fitting since he was coming back and all 

Whoreforwatermelon: HA THOUGHT YOU'VE SEEN THE LAST OF ME I'M BACK BITCHES

Kindagay: Ew why is mark back in the chat

Nohomo39: soo does that mean we cant talk shit behind his back anymore

Whoreforwatermelon: Guys im right here

Fuckurchickenstrips: Hey nerds

Fuckurchickenstips: who added mark back in our group chat?

Whoreforwatelon: haha very funny i know u guys hate admitting it but u guys missed me

BIGgay: Missed u? i see you everyday 

Whoreforwatermelon: ok so no one missed me wow cool alright then 

BIGgay: Mark is that u crying on the couch 

Whoreforwatermelon: SHUT UP 

Kindagay: raise ur hand if u missed mark

Imricherthanu: ..........

Nohomo39:..............

Fuckyourchickenstrips:........

BIGgay: ........

Arthoe: ...........

Whoreforwatermelon: wow 

Imricherthanu: haha jokes we really did miss u mark!

Arthoe: We just like to tease u cause ur fun to tease

Fuckurchickenstrips: when u left Jisung cried for a whole week straight 

Nohomo39: no one needed to know that........

Kindagay: glad ur back Marker:)

BIGgay: I guess im sort kinda maybe happy ur back to morkle 

Whoreforwatermelon: awwww i love u guys too 


	11. Louis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> BIGgay-haechan  
> kindagay-jeno  
> arthoe-renjun  
> fuckurchickenstrips-jaemin  
> nohomo39-jisung  
> imricherthanu-chenle  
> fuckoff-winwin  
> Litdad-johnny  
> smolbean-taeil  
> emonerd-yuta  
> stressedmom-taeyong  
> stressedmom2-doyoung  
> stressedmom3-kun  
> Tallbitch-lucas  
> gayerthanu-ten  
> sadstraight-jaehyun  
> smolgay-jungwoo  
> whitemanswhore-xiaojun  
> thatgermanbitch-yangyang  
> freshvacado-hendery

BIGgay: TAEYONG HYUNG

BIGgay: HYUNG 

BIGgay: HYUNG 

Stressedmom: WHAT i'm in a meeting 

BIGgay: Can we go visit wayvs new kitten

Stressedmom: Alright be back for dinner tho

BIGgay: MARK LETS GO 

Whoreforwatermelon: IM COMING GEEZ 

BIGgay: GUYS THE CAT IS ADORABLE

BIGgay: [image attach]

BIGgay: [image attach]

Smolgay: awwww it's so cute! 

Stressedmom2: Kun what did u decide to name it 

Tallbitch: Thor

Stressedmom3: WE DID NOT NAME IT THOR STOP CALLING IT THAT 

Stressedmom3: We named him Louis

Sadstraight: awww 

Imricherthanu: After Louis Vuitton or louis from one direction 

Stressedmom3: no chenle we just liked the name louis

Gayerthanu: Louis loves me the most 

Thatgermanbitch: NO HE LOVES ME THE MOST 

Gayerthanu: NO HE DOES NOT

Whitemanswhore: I can confirm (because he told me) louis does in fact loves me the most 

Fuckoff: why do i hang out with you ppl


	12. Where's Johnny?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoreforwatermelon-mark  
> BIGgay-haechan  
> kindagay-jeno  
> arthoe-renjun  
> fuckurchickenstrips-jaemin  
> nohomo39-jisung  
> imricherthanu-chenle  
> fuckoff-winwin  
> Litdad-johnny  
> smolbean-taeil  
> emonerd-yuta  
> stressedmom-taeyong  
> stressedmom2-doyoung  
> stressedmom3-kun  
> Tallbitch-lucas  
> gayerthanu-ten  
> sadstraight-jaehyun  
> smolgay-jungwoo  
> whitemanswhore-xiaojun  
> thatgermanbitch-yangyang  
> freshvacado-hendery

Stressedmom: Guys has anyone seen johnny? 

Sadstraight: now that i think about it i havent seen him all day 

Emonerd: maybe he ran away lol 

Stressedmom2: he wouldn't yuta 

Stressedmom: well did anyone see him before he disappeared

Whoreforwatermelon: last time i saw him was in the kitchen making coffee 

Stressedmom: how can he just disappear like that without telling anyone 

Smolbean: yong i can feel u panicking from hear calm down maybe he just went for a walk 

Smolgay: The dreamies have been awfully quiet.......... 

Stressedmom: They have havent they

Nohomo39: hey guys whats up 

Stressedmom: sung u wouldn't happen to know where Johnny is would u? 

Nohomo39: uhhhh no i have no idea where he is hahaha 

Stressedmom: dont make me come over and question u jisung park 

Nohomo39: guys a little help here 

BIGgay: johnny uhh went for his morning jog ya that's where he is 

Kindagay: he definitely is not in our dorm that's for sure 

Arthoe: JENO DDHDDUD

Fuckyourchickenstrips: JEN

Stressedmom: U GUYS KIDNAPPED HIM 

Imricherthanu: WE DIDN'T DHHDEHHD

Litdad: u would not believe where i've been all morning 

Stressedmom: JOHN UR ALIVE 

Litdad: i never realized that hanging out with teenagers is so much fun 

Emonerd: Johnny no 

Litdad: i learned so much terminology and slang 

Sadstraight: oh god 

Litdad: slay jaehyun wig 

Emonerd: someone pls shoot me 

Stressedmom2: u are never hanging out with the children again

Litdad: u cant tell me what to do 

Imricherthanu: YA 

Arthoe: Johnny u are welcomed to our dorm anytime 

Litdad: sweet


End file.
